On Sunday the 29th of May 2016 at 1:40 am JJ turned 1 year old and it was a wonderful day. We chose to have a 2 day celebration. On Saturday we had friends over and on Sunday family. This allowed us to spend much more time with everyone and enjoy the celebrations to the fullest. JJ had an amazing weekend, he loved the attention from everyone, nibbling on cake out in the sunshine and now knows what presents are and gets excited to unwrap them.
The days leading up to the birthday I was thinking a lot about the past year. I often hear people say that they don’t know where time goes after they become parents. I don’t really agree with that, for once I know exactly where an entire year has gone; it has gone into our adorable son and his growth. For 366 days I have been there when he woke up during the night and in the morning. I have feed him breakfast and read him books. I have definitely changed much more than 1000 nappies and not had an uninterrupted nights sleep for more than a year. I have been there for his first smile, giggle, babbe and words. I have breastfeed him several times each day and caught him when he took his first steps.
I just read James the above and he pointed out that it sounds like he has not done anything. That is far from true! He has made it possible for me to stay at home with JJ for a whole year and to now work for himself from home. I can not explain in words how thankful I am for that and for all the support he gives me day and night. James mostly works from home himself, which can of course be both good and bad, but I am just so thankful that he chose to give it a chance and that it has worked so well for us. James and JJ have an amazing father son bond. James soothes JJ back to sleep during the evenings, takes him for father son adventures and carries him in our baby carrier on dogwalks just to mention a few. Since the day JJ was born James has been playing him music, their favorite song is Everlong by the FooFighters. No matter how bad JJ’s mood is, James can always calm him down by playing or even just humming that song.
Reaching this milestone that the 1st birthday is, has made so many emotions roll around inside me. I have felt a massive amount of joy and pride. Our baby has turned one, he is happy and healthy, we have done it and we have done it well! I have felt a bit sad. He is not a little baby anymore and never will be again. But I have lots of lovely memories of that time and I can truly say that I enjoyed it to its fullest potential. I have felt excited for what is to come. He is developing so fast at the moment and before I know it he is gonna be walking unsupported and well…that will be fun! Last but not least I have felt love. Just like one year ago, when JJ was born and I started feeling all this new never-felt-before-bubbly-love inside me, that love is still there. I love JJ, I love James, I love myself and our life. It does not get much better than this 😉
So much has happened this first year of JJ’s life, sometimes I wish that I could press pause just to slow everything down a bit. Am I ready for him to be getting more and more independent ? Oh he just fell over on the floor and needs me, phew…he needs me! Actually, he will need me and his daddy for a really long time still. To be honest I need him to need me, this makes me happy and gives me a purpose.
During this first year of motherhood I have, just like most other first time mothers, had a few moments when I have wondered, if I am any good at this whole motherhood thing. There have been days when I have been second guessing myself left, right and centre, and when the smallest mistake has seemed huge, because it was just such a bad day. But, when I look back on this year, I must admit that it is obvious that I am doing something right. Our baby is healthy, happy and clearly loves us very much. Really, that is what it is all about!
Love Iris Xx
